We were texting back and forth and I was getting more ticked by the second.

We were getting ready to leave for vacation and my husband had been saving money for it. I wanted to know how much we had and if it was the amount we agreed on.

He wouldn’t let me see the money, nor count it.

He wouldn’t budge and when he came home later that day, he proudly strode over to get the money out. As he began to count, his chest began to swell. (along with his head).

After he finished counting the last dollar (which was the amount we agreed on) he looked up and gave me the biggest, cheesiest smile.

And that was when it dawned on me for the millionth time (Duh! Hellooooo he wants to save the day you nutjob, He wants to be your hero).

And guess what girlfriend? Your husband wants to be your hero too. 

John Eldredge helped me understand this concept and the needs of my boys and my man in his book Wild at Heart. (please if you want to understand the men in your life, read this book!)

There are reasons why boys can’t stop wearing capes and must be adorned with Spiderman backpacks and Ninja Turtle lunch boxes on the first day of school.

Why teenage boys and grown men can’t stop playing Call of Duty.

Inside of each of them lies the need to be a hero and to be looked upon with admiration from the women in their lives. The way Mary Jane looks at Spidey? The way you looked at your man when you were dating?

He longs for that.

Some of you wives are saying, “I don’t need to be rescued, I just need him to help with the ________.” Or “He doesn’t deserve my respect.”

I get it.

But, just because they may not deserve it, doesn’t negate the fact they need it. You and I don’t always deserve to be told we are beautiful, but we still long to hear right?

After years of frustration in my marriage and not getting anywhere nagging my husband, I heard Zig Ziglar say, “Don’t nag your husband into becoming the man you want him to be, encourage him into it.”

I knew I did not have it in me to be this kind of wife.

I still don’t.

I’m too controlling, stubborn and selfish.

So I knew it would take nothing short of a miracle for God to help me not only shut these lips, but to have a heart which was willing.

This is what I began to pray and still have to pray:

“Lord help me to see my husband through your eyes. To be his biggest fan and see his potential. Help me to stop focusing on his weaknesses, but praise Him for his strengths.”

As I prayed, I began noticing a change in my heart as I clumsily tried applying some of the things I was learning.

I told him I thought he was sexy, (even when I didn’t feel like saying it).

I praised him in public in front of others, (this is HUGE for a man).

And though our marriage was nowhere near perfect, (and still isn’t, please we both mess up daily) things began to shift in our marriage. It was like my hubby had a new stride in his walk whenever I encouraged him. (Picture John Travolta’s strut in Grease). 😉

It seemed the more I encouraged him, he desired to give me the things I needed.

Ladies–Inside of our husbands’ hearts lies the need to protect, provide, and prove to us they have what it takes to not only save the day, but be our greatest hero. 

The question is not just will we let them, but more importantly, will we tell them that they already are?

Challenge: Say something to your husband you’ve never said or haven’t said in a while. Share with him one of the things you love most about him. And I would love for you to comment below and share what has worked for you in building up your husband and your marriage! 

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