When Everyone Else Seems to Have it More Together

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A few years ago, I kept hearing the same thing from different people:

“Your life just seems so perfect.”

This baffled me because good Lord, I knew the truth, I mean Jesus said He came for the sick not the well.

I also knew the image I was representing to the world needed to be consistent with the truth of my life.

I heard Michele Cushatt and Kathi Lipp say something powerful on one of Michele’s video blogs. (Click link here) :

What we put on facebook or represent to the world is usually not the real version of our lives. We share our pretty front porch and we hide what’s in our dark, messy, back bedrooms.

The more I talk with people, the more I realize, we are the same and have way more in common than we think. And let’s keep it real- all of us have some back bedrooms we hide.

The other day I was spring cleaning my kitchen.

Scrubbing cupboards, floors, the ceiling fan, I even cleaned out the toaster for pete’s sake. Our friends were coming over for bible study and one of my good friend’s hubby (Josh) has quite an aversion to pet hair.

So, I get a little spastic when he’s coming over because my lab’s hair is everywhere no matter how much I clean. As I’m meticulously vacuuming the floors and walls I started imagining him finding a hair in his food and I was horrified.

I pictured him getting up, announcing his disgust over my uncleanliness and leaving our house and friendship forever. Now, before you judge my flair for the dramatic, you need to know my prior trauma.

Once when one of our sons best friend’s was over and I was explaining my fear of hair in the food, he nonchalantly looks up, smiles, and without skipping a beat says:

“Yeah, I have found some in my food, I just eat them.”

I have NEVER recovered from this.

(if this was Jesus giving me a lesson in humility it worked).

So, anyhow back to my Josh paranoia, (sorry Josh, Jesus may be dealing with you on this issue, we are all in the refining process 😉 ).

As I continued on with my cleaning spree of dehairing, and polishing everything just so, I saw a similar parallel: This is what I had done most of my life.

Meticulously scrutinizing or covering up any dirt or flaw I didn’t like about myself so others would love me. Heck, so I would love me. I was only showing the shiny me most of the time.

Hence, why everyone had thought my life was so perfect.

So, here’s the problem with this: As we hide behind our shiny facades and wave from our perfect porches, we are left feeling unknown, unloved and alone.

I LOVE this quote from Glennon Doyle Melton: “We can be perfect and admired or real and loved.”

So will others accept us if we invite them into our real lives? The answer is yes and no. There will be some in our lives who walk away when they see we aren’t so perfect after all.

Yes, there is a risk in getting hurt, but I can say with confidence the reward is much greater than the risk. Because you see, this is when we discover the people in our lives which are meant to stay.

And as we each become brave and share things out of our scary back bedrooms, we become free. And we learn to not only love each other better, but ourselves.

Floating dog hair and all.

 

 

(image source: canstockphoto.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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8 comments on “When Everyone Else Seems to Have it More Together

  1. I think God placed me next to you at Seeking God because I would say that I might be on the OCD side of things at times…not always but much of the time. The older I get, the less I have that need to be. BUT…it is still there. I want to be real and that too is easier with aging. I am 68 and I like being able to be myself more and more. But I still walk hoping I will meet someone else’s expectations when I should only be looking to Christ for that. Thanks for the nudge in the right direction.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    • Thanks for sharing Linda! I think this is an area God is dealing with many of us women in! So thankful you came by! Blessings friend. xo

  2. This one made me lol. Zoey may leave a lot of hair behind, but she’s so sweet and loving that you can’t be mad about it. Though, I don’t want any of it in my food….

    • Tina- Glad it made you laugh. Hey, I try to make sure no hair gets in any food, but sometimes it just lands where it lands. LOL Good thing you love us and her. 😉

  3. I often feel like everyone else has it all together but me. I often feel like a frazzled mom. I love a clean house..but that’s real hard with 4 kids. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to be real! Your blog is lovely! Visiting you from Sitting Among Friends.

    • Valerie-I think we all feel like frazzled moms most of the time! Comes with the territory. People understand way more than we realize. Thanks for coming by friend. Blessings to you. xo

  4. Funny how I “FINALLY” got a chance to read this one and well,….. “Because you see, this is when we discover the people in our lives which are meant to stay.” —-honestly, THIS was just like a warm blanket wrapped around my soul; right now; RIGHT when I needed it most!
    Thank you (again, and again). Your Words = Soul Healing. <3

    • Dawn- I’m so glad this spoke to you! Isn’t it cool when we read something just when we need it? Our God so rocks. Love you girl and so glad this blessed you. xo

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