Her name was Norma Jean.
She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen and could rock red lips like nobody’s business.
I worked with her in my early 20’s when we were both hotel clerks and when I didn’t have a clue what a confident woman was.
She was what our culture would probably label as a “plus size” woman. The God’s honest truth is I never saw her size.
I was captivated by her and it went way beyond her flawless makeup and exquisite face. I couldn’t figure it out at first what I was drawn to, but as time passed I knew.
This woman was so comfortable in her own skin, she could rock her long, drab, work skirt like a boss. I remember finding myself at times looking down at my skirt, examining it, wondering why it didn’t look the same as hers.
I use to think people that felt comfortable in their own skin had perfect bodies or lives.
But after being around Norma Jean and other confident women, I’ve realized that is the furthest thing from the truth.
The other day I sat with two teenage girls I adore and we had a chat. We were playing 21 questions (a game you play to get to know each other better) and they asked me this question:
What is your biggest flaw or worse trait?
I sat and thought for awhile, then told them that my worse trait was being too hard on myself.
I grew up being so hyper-critical of anything in my life or on my body that was not perfect. I explained that perfectionism had robbed me of so much joy in my life.
I told them that perfectionism feels like a big heavy weight which makes it hard to breathe and that the freedom Christ came to give us feels light.
My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:30 For it is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Galatians 5:1
As I looked at them they were both nodding.
They both agreed, that they too, had been critical of themselves when something wasn’t perfect.
I begged them to hear me and to know there is no perfect anything. I love Reebok’s saying and hashtag:
#perfectnever.
Later that day I went swimming with the girls.
I told them that this had been the first time, as a middle aged woman, that I had ever let anyone see my flaws in a bathing suit.
Lauren, one of the girls looked at me smiling and said: “It shows you are comfortable in your own skin.”
I still have many insecurities I struggle with, but surprisingly, I’m learning to like the skin I’m in, though it’s getting more wrinkled and flabbier.
Because what I’ve realized is confidence is a choice and a mindset.
And sometimes a brave decision to just get in the dang pool.
I think of Norma Jean and I smile. And I realize her drab gray skirt was really no different than mine.
The reason she could look good in anything she put on was because she knew the one essential that was a must for every outfit:
The ability to not only love yourself, but like yourself– imperfections and all.
I want to put that on every day, how about you?
{imagesource:canstockphoto.com}
