I was in my late teens and I had spent the weekend with a new friend.
We had a fabulous time and I loved getting to know her parents, that’s why when she said these words to me they cut deeply:
“My mom said she really liked you, but you were a little loud and you need to work on your manners.”
I was shocked. My manners?!? I thought I had been pleasant and had went out of my way to thank her mom profusely for everything.
I asked her to explain.
“Well, she said you just kinda slammed your glass on the coaster too hard. And you’re kinda loud.”
To say I was floored is an understatement. I never knew you could place your glass on a coaster too hard. I mean I knew I laughed loud and probably talked a little loud, but the coaster?!?
All I heard from this conversation was this:
You’re too much. Quiet down. Hide the parts about yourself that are too much or you will never be liked.
I carried those hurtful comments with me into my adulthood and they went with me wherever I went or whomever I was around. The enemy used those words to keep me stifled. As the years wore on into my twenties, I did everything I could to be enough and not “too much.”
The problem with all of this was after years of juggling different masks, I had no clue who I really was.
I’m wondering friend, if you have ever dealt with any of this? Feeling like too much, yet, not enough all at the same time.
I think there is a guy in the bible who can relate with us.
He was notorious for sticking his foot in his mouth and I’m guessing, probably felt he was a little too much at times. Yes, you guessed it, Peter. I SO LOVE Peter and this exchange between him and Jesus. (Matthew 16:15-18 The Message)
Jesus asks Peter, “Who do you say that I am?”
Peter replies: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
Jesus’ reply: “God bless you, Simon, son of Jonah! You didn’t get that answer out of books or from teachers. My Father in heaven, God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am. And now I’m going to tell you who you are, really are. You are Peter, a rock.
This story just unravels me in a good way.
The world teaches us in order to find ourselves, it’s up to us to figure it out. Christ teaches to find yourself, you must first know Him. It’s in knowing Him that we not only find our worth but He shows us who we are. (He did create us after all).
So what does this mean?
It means when we know our Father’s love for us, we can be comfortable in our own skin. We don’t have to worry about our loud laugh, silly quirks or being “too much.” Our Father in Heaven does not get annoyed by us, He delights in us.
My friend, if you are wondering, “Who am I?” Go to your Father in Heaven and ask Him. He will tell you who you are, really are, His beloved chosen child He adores.
And that you are ENOUGH simply because you’re His.
*EXCITING NEWS!!! My dear friend Michele Cushatt’s book came out today! I AM, a 60- Day Journey Knowing Who You Are Because Of Who He Is. I started reading this book two weeks ago and I cannot put it down! This is such an amazing book on how to stop the madness of trying to be enough when we already are because of our identity in Christ. This is a must read my friends and contains a treasure trove of wisdom you will refer back to again and again.
Thank you, I received you blog link from a dear friend. I just want to simply say thank you for this blog, and I needed to read this. I love our Lord Jesus very much. God is good
Thank you Wendy, for stopping by! So glad you were encouraged. xoxo