The Sting of Rejection and The Cure

I held the phone close to my ear and couldn’t believe the words I was hearing on the other end.

“I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what it is, but I just have to back away from this friendship right now. I have no reason.”

This was the first time as an adult I had ever been dumped by a friend. I was absolutely devastated.

I had poured my heart and soul into this friendship and for her this was done. The fact that she couldn’t give me a reason made it so much worse in my mind.

I laid in bed night after night wondering what I had done wrong and what was wrong with me. I went over every flaw meticulously examining myself.

Was I too much?

Too intense?

Too needy?

Did I say something that was offensive and she just wouldn’t tell me? I did have a big mouth at times.

I wish I could tell you this conversation in my head went on for a few days or weeks and then I just decided to move on.

Sadly, I carried this rejection with me into every new friendship for years. I was always scared of being me. Scared I would be too much, or not enough or a little of both.

Always worried I would say something to make them walk away.

Because really, when we are rejected by others, (parent, friend, boyfriend, whomever) the message we are hearing is this:

There is something dreadfully wrong with you and no one will ever stay.

Though I was fearful, God brought new friendships into my life. And as time went on and these women loved me for me, the scar remained from my past rejection but, it began fading.

This is what I’ve learned about people and rejection:

*People are fickle and will reject you and some will not stay. (they aren’t suppose to).

*The people that are meant to be in your life will stay and will love you with all your quirks, flaws and all. (and they actually kinda like them).

Friend hear this from me and know I speak the truth:

You may not be someone’s cup of tea, but, you are definitely someone else’s Caramel Macchiato with extra whip cream and a double shot of espresso.

And friend most of all, we have a Savior that will never, ever, leave. A friend that sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

This scripture can help heal us from past rejections, present or future.

Ephesians 3:16-19

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to all the fullness of God.

Friend-I don’t know if you have past rejections you are dealing with or maybe you are dealing with one right now, can I share with you what I told the teenagers the other night when we spoke about this subject?

Take this scripture and memorize it, (paste it to your forehead if you have to) and know that you have a Savior whose love can reach into every corner of your broken heart.

Take any rejection you have and lay it down at the Father’s feet. Ask the Father to heal you and to help you not carry it into your future relationships.

And go get yourself a coffee with extra whip cream spilling over and ask the Father to do the same with His love.

And God’s word promises this:

His love is wide, long, high and deep and it never fails to do the job.

*Here is the piece I wrote for the teens. Feel free to print and share it!

My name is Rejection.

You know me better than you think you do.

I have come to you at times in subtle hints or in giant waves when others have not included you, invited you, or walked away from you.

I will use all kinds of people in your life to convince of my main goal.

When I’m present I make your brain race from one thought to the next, your heart beat fast, your throat go dry, and your adrenaline pump so fast it will overtake all logical reasoning.

My purpose and job is solely to do one thing:

To steal your identity, to get you to question who you are and your very existence.

I will keep you up at night and make you wonder when you lay in bed if you are too much, or not enough, or if you are worthy enough for anyone in your life to stay.

If I can sting you just enough, you will not be able to shake me off on your own or by pure will.

I will stay hidden in different corners of your mind and heart and the effects from my presence will eventually make your heart and relationships sick.

I will act like I’m here to help you, to convince you to put up walls in order to guarantee you, you won’t get hurt again, but I am a liar and will prove to be one every time.

If you keep me around I will keep you rooted in fear, anger, and bitterness and always have you doubting yourself and who you are.

I will also persuade you in your desperation for love and your ache from loneliness to grasp for many different things to fill you.

And what you will find is anything outside of God’s love and will for you, will prove to be shallow and not enough to fill or heal your wounded soul.

My name is rejection. I told you, you knew me.

The question is will you let me stay?

*Right now I am reading Lysa Terkeurst’s book Uninvited on this subject of rejection. Do yourself a favor and get this book! There is so much truth, revelation and healing to be found in this book! You can get it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble or any Christian book store.

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