Instead of Asking, “Why Me?” Ask, “What Now?”

As she was washing my hair she said something which stirred my soul: “Sometimes we need to stop asking why me and start asking what now?” 

I SO LOVE my hair stylist.

We have the best talks and end up doing some serious soul work while she is beautifying me.

My hair genius is not only intelligent, but she gives awesome HAIRapy. (Ladies, I can hear your Amens from here and yes our stylists are gifts straight from Jesus.)

When she said those life giving words we delved into them, we turned them over and dissected them. And I’ve been chewing on them ever since.

I’ve been stuck in the why me too many times to count. I’m thinking of one biblical character who stayed stuck in her why me for more than a minute or two.


Her story is found in the book of Ruth. Honeys, if anyone had reasons to stay stuck in her why me and go ahead and eat some worms, this poor soul did.

She lost her husband and both of her sons.

She had two daughter in-laws left without husbands and she basically tells them to go back to where they are from, she can’t offer them much anymore. Ruth refuses to leave her and at one point this is what Naomi says about her situation: (Ruth 1:20-21)

“Do not call me Naomi (sweetness) ; call me Mara (bitter), for the Almighty has caused me great grief and bitterness. I left full (with a husband and two sons) but the Lord has brought me back empty.

Oh, dear friends. Let’s just sit on that for a minute.

“I left full but the Lord has brought me back empty.”

I think we ALL can relate with that can’t we? When we are going through excruciating times in our lives and it feels the Lord has left us empty.

This is when we get stuck in the why me.

When tragedies happen which do not make any logical sense. When the prosperous abundant life doesn’t feel so prosperous. When our anguish threatens to overtake us.

When my marriage almost failed nine years ago, I felt God had left me and there was no hope.  A few years ago when the Lord told me He would not heal me of my depression and I would have to go on medication, I was stuck in that why me for over two years.

So, how do we get from the why me to the what now? How do we go from bitter to better?

There is no easy answer for this and I believe it is completely human and necessary at times to wrestle and ask why. I did a bible study from Kelly Minter on the book of Ruth during a season of painful bitterness towards the Lord.

During that hard season after I finished the study, my healing began when I wept before the Lord and got real about my anger and deep disappointment.

Then at one point I began to ask myself, “Will I believe God is good even when my situation does not look or feel good?”

Kelly said something which brought so much healing and clarity. She said: “We will either weep forward or backward. Ruth wept forward, Naomi wept backward.” 


I realized I had to make a choice with my pain. Would I continue to weep backward or would I weep forward?

When you and I start asking what now instead of why me, not only are we making the choice to move forward, but we are choosing to believe God will use our pain for our good AND the good of others.

And that my lovelies, is when miracles take place in our lives. Never forget, God does His best work with the broken places and pieces in our lives.

I read this scripture this morning in Hosea 2:15 and found such a beautiful promise.

I will give her back her vineyards; and will make the Valley of Achor (trouble) a door of hope.

I so loved this. No matter what trouble or valley we are in, God always gives us a Door of Hope. But, here’s the catch, we must be willing to look for it. We must be willing to weep and walk forward. 

Are you stuck in a why me right now?

What Door of Hope is the Lord giving you today to walk through?

(Please comment below would love to hear from you).



(image source from






Sharing is caring!Share on FacebookShare on LinkedInTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestBuffer this pageShare on Google+


1 comment on “Instead of Asking, “Why Me?” Ask, “What Now?”

  1. Very deep and moving post. I am in the position of asking why me right now instead of what next, and desperately trying to move forward, but finding it very hard when difficult things keep happening to me. Yet I know this is where my faith comes into play big time and prayer is essential .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *