Why That Guy Must Earn the Key to Your Heart

Dear Teen Girl,

When my step-father stated that hopelessly true sentence my sixteen year old self did not want to hear it:

“Holly, you are in love with love.”

I was just a tad boy crazy you could say.

And I was for real in lovvvvve with lovvvve. I mean come on love is wonderful! It’s all the feels, its gooey and intense. Who doesn’t want to feel love right??

There is nothing that enthralls us girls more than going to a movie with a juicy love story. (With of course a gorgeous guy in it) then replaying the movie in our head for days and daydreaming about the perfect guy and…

Wait! Stop! Houston we have a problem.

And the issue is not love.

Love is still great, gooey, and wonderful. And, it’s not daydreaming about the cute guy, that’s normal too.

It’s not even the chick flicks that are necessarily bad, (though they are very misleading on portraying what true love is). It’s the one thing, Hollywood and our love crazed world did not tell us. It’s a warning label us love stricken girls needed:


Your heart is precious and valuable and not everyone will treat it as such. DO NOT give it away to just anyone. Please, handle with care.

Actually King Solomon (the wisest dude in the bible) gave us this same warning:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for out of it flows the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23 

I’ve been a youth leader for quite a few years. And I have witnessed too many times young women getting their hearts crushed because they didn’t know how to guard their hearts or protect them.

It usually goes something like this:

Cute girl meets cute guy, they start texting, he seems incredible and so she gives her heart away before she knows him. Then when she’s “in love” she begins to see things she’s not happy with, with Mr. Perfect, but it feels impossible to get out of the relationship, because she is so emotionally invested.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Now, let’s replay this situation if her heart would have been guarded:

Cute girl meets cute guy. She really likes him, but takes it slow, because she knows it takes awhile to get to know a guy and his character. It’s not that she has iron gates on her heart, but she knows her heart’s worth, so she is definitely cautious with it. Time passes, he ends up not being what she wanted, she’s a little hurt and sad, but not completely destroyed.


Because a girl who guards and protects her heart knows her worth, and NO guy is getting the key until he earns it.

Now, does this guarantee we will never get hurt if we guard our hearts? No. pain and hurt is a part of relationships. But, it will help us to be much wiser in our relationships and may prevent unnecessary pain.

So with that being said, I want to close with giving you some wisdom from an older sister who has been there. (Pretend we’re on your bed eating lots of chocolate and wearing our favorite yoga pants) 😉

And I lean in and tell you this:

“Your heart is to be cherished. Do you know why out of your heart is the wellspring of life? Because inside of that precious heart of yours lies these things” :

  • Your dreams.
  • Desires.
  • Passions.
  • Your love for your family and friends.
  • Your identity in Christ.
  • The core of all and who you are.

Do you see why it’s so important to be cautious whom you give a key to?

Here’s the thing I’ve learned about people we invite into our lives: they will value our hearts when we do. And the guy who desires to win your heart, will fight for your heart.

Trust me on this girlfriend.

And here’s the most important thing– Abandon your life and heart to Christ, let Him show you your worth, let Him be the first key-holder of your heart and He will guide you to the one who will treasure it.

Know your worth girl! KNOW you are irreplaceable!

Own it, and never settle for less.

Love Always, (Your Older But REALLY Cool Sister in Christ),



(image source: canstockphoto.com)

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2 comments on “Why That Guy Must Earn the Key to Your Heart

  1. Very discerning post! I love the part where you say they will value our hearts when we do. That is so true and I hope and pray many girls read this and take it to heart.

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