I am mother of two teenage boys, a youth leader, and just flat-out love kids.
But, I’ve realized something needs to change.
We need to stop feeding the greed monster within our children. It is robbing them of two vital things:
Gratitude and contentment.
When we do devotionals as a family I will ask my boys what they are grateful for and sometimes it takes them way longer than it should to come up with answers.
Yet, I know kids who don’t own many material possessions and they are full of gratitude. As I’ve observed this, I’ve seen two common denominators. (more on that below).
I keep asking myself, “Where in the world did you get the idea if you bought them more and more they’d be content and grateful?”
It’s like we keep feeding this monster within them and no matter what we give, how many bells and whistles come with it, they still crave more.
And the thrill factor us moms and dads long for when the gifts are given? Ya you can kiss it goodbye because the bar keeps getting raised higher for us to climb over to awe them.
It is a mortal sin to even think of buying the old version of an iPod, iPad or Playstation. Excuse me, lame-o. They want the latest and greatest version.
So, what are we to do? Stop buying them things all together? I’m not sure we have to go to that extreme but I do think these things will help:
1. The gift of hard work- One of the most valuable tools we can give our children is to teach them how to work hard and feel the pride in seeing the fruit from their labor. It builds confidence and work ethic they will carry for the rest of their lives. (even if they are not old enough for a job they can do things around the house to earn money).
2.The gift of waiting- I love to hear my cousin Chad tell the story of when he bought his first bike. He worked his tail off and saved and saved. He waited quite awhile before he could purchase it and he absolutely treasured it. His eyes still light up when he talks about that bike. There is nothing which makes you appreciate something more than when you work hard for it and wait for it. In our entitlement, I must have it now culture, we forgot what our grandparents taught us was true, there are big things which happen in our gimme gimme spirits when we have to wait for something. (this is throughout scripture God is onto something here.)
3. The gift of giving- I am a die-hard lover of Christmas and we will buy for our kids, but we are doing something new this year. We are each making a giving list. We are making a list of the fun ways we can bless others from now until Christmas. It can be from sending random text messages to those needing encouragement, baking treats and giving them away, sending cards and handwritten letters, randomly blessing someone in a drive thru or in a store. The point is instead of making a list of our wants, we will make a list of ways we can give. Not only do I want us to be more intentional about giving more, but I want our boys to know the joy of using their gifts and talents to bless others.
As a parent I’m owning where I have went wrong and fed the greed monster inside of them. And as I’ve searched my heart, it came from a place of good intentions and love.
We want our kids to have what we didn’t. We want them to experience joy and be surprised. But, the thing is, things will not give them that. It’s the people in their lives. The pouring out of oneself. The gift of being present.
I’m hoping as they lay in bed on Christmas night after all the packages are torn, their hearts will be full, not because of what they received, but by what they gave.
Things may feed the greed monster inside of us for a while, but giving your life away on behalf of others will feed your soul for a lifetime.
*Make a giving list with your family this year. Use your creativity and imaginations. Come up with a budget to bless. There are many ways to bless which do not involve money. I will be posting some fun, crazy, cool ideas in the next few days on making a giving list.
{Image source: can stock photo}
Really good words, Holly! I’m going to start praying the Lord shows me how I can incorporate this into our Christmas.
I’ve been thinking a lot about work ethic lately, too. One of my kids takes to work much better than the other one and it’s frustrating how much effort the work avoider puts in to avoiding it! I just remembered a bible study teacher (and older mom) who told me that one way she got her young kids to work without the resistance was by working with them. Although my work avoider is 13 now, I think that might help in his case… he really values time with mom or dad, so over the long thanksgiving holiday, when I plan to tackle the house in a big way, I think I’ll try working with him more and see if I can make it more positive to him.
Am looking forward to seeing the ideas you share about the “giving list”, especially the low-cost, no-cost ones, as we have an especially tight budget this year!
thanks for sharing your journey!
Sandy
Sandy- I’m glad I’m not alone with having kids that avoid work! lol. Thanks for taking the time to come by and share friend. The giving list should be up around the day after Thanksgiving. Blessings to you and your family.