Dear Teenager,
Yeah, so most of us want to be popular and fit in, I’m 40 and I still want to be cool why lie to you?
But, the thing is no one ever told us what fitting in may cost us.
My youngest son started at five wanting to be cool. To have the clothes the cool kids had.
How in the world does a five-year old even know how to study someone to learn to look the part?
I guess it’s inbred in us this need for affirmation and approval.
What is cool? I mean really what is the definition? The world’s definition would be being popular, good-looking, knowing what to say at the right time, funny.
Cool could also be defined as: you fit in.
But, fit in to what exactly?
Let’s be honest, being accepted feels like a warm, cozy blanket wrapped around you. It makes you feel safe. But, let’s get one thing clear: Just because fitting in makes you feel safe, doesn’t mean you are safe.
Because the reality is at any given moment, someone’s opinion of you can change. We humans we are a fickle, wishy-washy bunch.
And if we step outside of other people’s expectations of what they think we should be, we’re toast.
So, our striving continues.
It’s really a remarkable thing how we can study and master the art of being liked. How our constant need for approval from our peers will drive us to do crazy things.
In our quest to be accepted, we get to a point that we don’t even recognize who we are anymore. What we believe, what we feel, what dreams God has placed inside of our hearts, because we are too busy adjusting our mask to look like everyone else’s.
Don’t let us adults fool you.
We cave to peer pressure too. Why do you think so many of us buy cars and own houses we can’t afford and spend hours perfecting them to be pinterest worthy?
But, I’m wondering, if being accepted is the thing and what we are striving for, then why does it not fill us? Why is it we can get thousands of likes on social media or compliments from our peers, but it never seems to be enough? The well seems to always run dry.
The wisest man who ever lived said fear of man will prove to be a snare.
Solomon you were right.
Because at the end of the day, if our fear of what others think of us drives us to become someone we are not, it’s going to cost us way more than the price tag we pay for all those shiny clothes.
It will not only costs us our money, but our time, integrity and identity. And for some, tragically, their lives.
The statistics show that some of you are drinking, using drugs, cutting yourself, and contemplating suicide.
Why would you gain the whole world and lose your own soul? (Mark 8:36)
So is being popular in itself wrong? No. Hear me out. And it doesn’t necessarily mean you will lose yourself if you are.
But, it’s our motive behind why we crave the applause from man so much and what we are willing to sacrifice to achieve it.
Friend–here’s the truth if you are longing to fit in:
You aren’t craving popularity, you are craving to be loved. Connected.
And I’m not talking about the superficial connectivity on social media, where we all share our picture perfect selfies and tell each other how great we are.
I’m talking about being truly seen and known.
Unconditionally loved.
And here’s the really cool thing: you already are.
By a God who sees you, knows you, and longs to show you who you are in Him.
So will you dare to be different? Will you weigh the cost of trying to fit in? Will you ask God what it is you are truly seeking underneath it all?
If you must fit in: fit into His plans, His heart, His desires and Purpose for you.
Fitting in will never fill a soul,
But being filled by Christ does.
