A few weeks ago I attended an estate sale for a dear friend that went into a nursing home a couple of years ago.
As I walked in, there were people everywhere grabbing her things, groping them, excited to take their new belongings with them. I wanted to smack one lady as she bragged about all the great deals she was getting.
My heart ached for my friend whose memory is leaving her and no longer has the option of deciding if she wants to sell those goblets she purchased as a young bride.
As I walked through her home I saw her life through seasons.
Christmas paintings she had hung during the holidays, wreaths for spring and fall, table linens and elaborate china. As my eyes scanned each room, everything was stacked up, lined up, and getting boxed up. Max Lucado you were right– at the end of our lives it all goes back in the box.
As I left her home Solomon’s wisdom echoed in my mind: “Meaningless, meaningless. What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?”
I got up this morning, made my coffee and laid my head down on my bible frustrated. I’m scared and running on empty.
I start scrolling through facebook and the internet.
Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, how much time do I spend doing this? What am I searching for?
As the horrors in the world and the news stories escalate, my fear rises. I’m running scared, I want to hide and as I settle in with Jesus, my defensive layers unravel. And I realize what I’m truly craving.
What we are all really longing for: To feel full and safe.
We want a guarantee that we aren’t going to die young, our children will be ok and that we will be full of happiness until the day we die.
Realizing there is no guarantee, we stack our knickknacks and investments in stocks and careers–run ourselves ragged, to find at the end, none of it lasts.
We hanker for applause from man so much that we waste our lives trying to attain it.
Seriously, what is at the root of wanting the new car with all the bells and whistles, the house we can’t afford and the new coach purse? If these things remained hidden and we could not show them off, would we still desire them as much?
I open my bible, ravenous.
I take in the Bread of Life, drink from the Living Water and my fear leaves. I find that Doritos’ and man’s applause all end up being empty calories.
I found a text the other day from my father that he sent me towards the end of his life. It was sent in the middle of the night when he could not sleep:
“I’m so hungry…I’m starving for every single word of my Savior’s teachings..so hungry to know Him deeper.”
As the tears flow, so does my gratitude, thanking God my father knew whom to go for his hunger and fears.
I heard Jonathan Cahn recently say, “The hebrew word for Yeshua (Jesus) is safety, outside of Yeshua there is no safety, inside of Him there is no fear.”
We are going to crave fulfillment and safety until the day we die, and at times, we will run and hide. So, the question my friend, is not where or what we will hide behind, but in Whom?
He will keep me safe in His dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5
*Here’s a video from Francis Chan, he gives an awesome illustration on what we are truly living for.
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