As my mind has lingered on comparing I realize over and over again it is a trap. Set up by an enemy in our lives, wanting us to strive with all our might to be something or somebody that we weren’t ever meant to be.
Because we weren’t suppose to be just any something or somebody, but, the somebody God created us to be.
We compare ourselves to those smarter, richer, prettier, skinnier, more spiritual, and what measuring stick are we using?
This invisible measuring stick is only going to get larger and longer and harder and harder to measure up to. Because of things like plastic surgeons and brilliant minds joined with constant perfectionism in our culture- people, houses, cars, all the things we measure our ourselves against, are only gonna get prettier, larger, and fancier. And if we keep comparing against this invisible, unrealistic measuring stick—we will continue to get smaller in our own eyes.
Those in Christ even use this measuring stick on a spiritual level.
I have found myself doing that with others. Those who pray better and more eloquently, those that spend hours in prayer and fasting, those that are full of grace and mercy.
It’s endless isn’t it? The comparing.
And you know what? God was right. It makes your soul sick. Envy rots the bones. And it robs. And it makes us ungrateful and irritable about what we don’t have.
I tried to think of one positive thing that can come out of comparing. I came up with nada. There is nothing wrong with appreciating someone’s beauty, talent, home, etc. but, when we get out that invisible measuring stick and start to look at what they have compared to what we don’t, that’s when we get in trouble and get caught up in or trapped by discontentment and grumbling about what we don’t have.
How in the world do we stop this? Especially in our culture? Does it mean we can’t strive to be our best? No. Does is mean we can’t be inspired by someone smart, pretty, talented? No. Does it mean we have to just settle for mediocrity? No.
It just means we have to be who God created us to be and ask for His help to do the things He has called us to. The only measuring stick that we should go by is God’s word. If we are going to hold ourselves up to any kind of standard, let it be God’s word. That is full of truth, hope, clarity and instruction for us. That does not bring condemnation on our souls but, hope and refreshment.
God’s word challenges us to be our best. To strive for excellence, for His Kingdom, not ours. And it also has us work towards things that are going to last, our souls and character not just outward beauty that is going to fade. (1 Timothy 4:8) (Proverbs 31:30-31).
I wish I had all the answers to this problem. I’ve been hesitant to even write about a subject that I’m still so struggling with. An area of my life that I have killed people over. Many people close to me. But, this is the thing– so many times us Christians want to tell you about our struggles after God has delivered us or healed us. But, this time God said to me, “Share with them, heal together” So this is why I’m writing about this. May we heal together?
Here is a poem I wrote that kinda sums up how I feel right now and what God showed me the other day as I was berating myself in the mirror. If you are struggling at all in this area, I pray somehow this encourages you today.
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the fairest of them all?
Can you change this face, this body? I feel so small.
I try so hard to measure up and look just right,
But, no matter what- I don’t, I can’t—this is my plight!
Do you see the beauty that surrounds me everywhere?
The maidens with gorgeous faces, bodies, and hair?
It’s endless mirror, I just can’t compete!
They are flawless from their head to their feet!
Oh mirror what shall I do? My beauty is fading every day,
I’m getting older not younger, in every way.
I’m getting so tired, my energy is faltering!
I have to get up, I have things that need altering!
But, I’m so tired mirror. So tired of the constant degrading!
So tired of never being pleased and the constant berating.
So tired of never being good enough, so tired of trying,
Wait mirror…. is that you that I hear crying?
What did you say? I can’t hear you please speak up!
What did you say? That I do measure up?
But, how can I with all these imperfections and flaws?
Wait, what did you say? You want me to stand tall?
You want me to look at myself, really look at who I am?
I can’t mirror, I just can’t you don’t understand!
So many have told me that I’m this and I’m that,
And I agreed with them, so these must be facts!
They are lies? Lies I’ve been listening to for years?
So, that’s why you are crying? I can see your tears.
But, how do I stop the lies? I don’t know how to start?
Replace them with TRUTHS that are in God’s heart?
I know He loves me, I know His word is true, BUT,
Believing it, sometimes… it’s so hard to do.
Keep looking up, keep looking within?
Keep trusting my identity is in Him?
This is not going to be easy mirror, but, I’m going to try,
To stop bashing and berating and making you cry.
I’m not asking anymore mirror who is the fairest of them all,
Instead I’m going to be proud, confident, and stand tall.
I’ve been chosen by a King and in His love I am clothed,
Remind me of this mirror when I begin to self loathe.
Remind of me of His Truths from His love letter,
I know this is the only way I will get better.
Thank you Mirror for showing me the who I am today,
That I am loved, I am enough, in every way.
Thank you for helping me see that invisible, measuring stick,
That keeps me listening to lies and making my heart sick.
I am loved, I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am treasured,
May these be the things that I value and measure.
So, Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is loved most of all?
I am. Yup, by a King.
