We were on the phone when she said something which cut me to my core.
“When you get a new friend Holly it’s like you have a new puppy. You talk about them all the time, you post about them on social media, and you love to show them off.”
I was shocked by her audacity and statement.
Because she was absolutely right.
She added, “I know you don’t do it intentionally and a huge part of it is because you just love people and get excited.” I nodded as I listened as I gulped down a big fat bite of humble pie.
For a minute I completely pouted.
Because dang, I love puppies, they are the absolute best and so are new friends.
But as much as her words stung, I was glad she pointed it out because I had been blind to my own sin. And this sin had caused me to hurt people I love dearly and leave them out at times because of it.
(Now, I need to point one thing out to you. The reason why I was so receptive to this dear friend’s constructive criticism is because she had proved herself over time with her grace and love. She had earned the right to speak the truth to me.)
After we hung up and we had finished our conversation that is when it got real scary.
I felt I was at a scary movie with my hands over my eyes when I asked Jesus to show me a replay of any relational tendencies that were sinful or unhealthy.
I wanted to know the deeper issue with my puppy syndrome or anything else that was going on.
I know this will be hard to believe because I’m fabulous, but the truth is I struggle with issues of pride, ego, favoritism, and wanting to be cool and look super important.
(I know you’re shocked but you will recover and think I’m wonderful again in a few days.)
As me and Jesus did some inventory of my relationships I discovered quite a paradox.
I saw where I had been healthy in some relationships and toxic in others. That I can be selfish and selfless. All. in. one. day. I saw where I had been co-dependent and interdependent. (Depending on the person and their emotional health.)
That I can be humble with some and ten minutes later so full of myself with others I am nauseated.
I have been a safe friend or a manipulative one if I wasn’t getting what I wanted. All in the name of Jesus.
Why am I glad the Lord reveled this stuff? And why am I telling you?
Because dang do I need men and women of God to tell me the truth about my unhealthy self at times. And it is crucial for my growth in Christ.
I can’t see these things on my own. (Because like I said earlier being blinded by my own fabulousness.)
Do you think part of the reason we don’t let others get too close (besides the fear of being hurt) is because we are afraid they will discover the truth about us? That we are just like them? Messed up with deep insecurities and bad hang ups.
I wonder when we are at the end of our lives if we’ll look back and see we grew the most when we let the Lord use other people ( or Nathans think King David) to save our sorry butts from ourselves.
That the people who had wounded us with their words were some of the friends God sent to make us well. (Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted but an enemy multiplies kisses.
So, who are your truth tellers my friend? (Thank the Lord for them, for real).
Who has loved you hard and well and earned the right to speak the truth to you?
There may be friends or family you got angry with and shut out because they said something to you which cut deep. But could it be that it cut deep because there was some truth to it?
Take your hands off of your eyes and don’t be afraid to ask Jesus to show you.
He’s a loving Father who is after our wholeness and freedom and He wants His kids well. And like it or not, we need each other to get there.
I’m just praying there are all kinds of puppies in heaven.
(image source: pexels.com)
I have the same problem (puppy syndrome lol) and I’m grateful as well to those who tell me in loving kindness when they see me going in a direction that isn’t good for me, or if I’m being a jerk.