I stood in front of our Everfree students last week and asked these questions:
“What if I told you I could give you a tool which could transform your relationships, help you hear your calling and strengthen your relationship with God? Would you want that tool?”
Now what if I asked you, “what if I could give you a tool which could save your marriage and ignite passion into it like never before?”
Of course you would say yes.
That tool I’m speaking of is a teachable spirit.
As I was putting together my message for the students, I realized if I could narrow down what truly saved my marriage, this was it.
I’m not going to go on and on about how bad my marriage was, ain’t nobody got time for that.
But let’s just put it this way, it is nothing short of a miracle and the amazing grace of God, that we are still together, happy, more in love than ever, and haven’t killed each other.
Truth.
So, what the heck is a teachable spirit and how can it save our marriages?
A teachable spirit is being willing to be a student in any areas you lack, to seek out knowledge and truth, in order to grow in humility, wisdom and excellence.
Sounds simple right? (insert sarcasm). Now the key word here in that sentence is willing.
The first step to gaining a teachable spirit is you first must be desperate and hungry for answers. Translation? You have to be at the end of yourself. Willing to be emptied out of you, in order to learn.
In my marriage, I was clueless on how to be a good wife.
I was clueless to what my husband truly needed from me. And after many mistakes and failures, I realized I had so much to learn. I read as many books as I could get my hands on about marriage, (some of you are saying but I hate reading, your marriage is worth it my friend.)
My husband and I also went to counseling and it definitely helped, but the key component I think in our success was our hunger to learn. We knew if we didn’t, a divorce was in our future.
Having a teachable spirit in our marriages takes courage. It takes courage to ask our spouse and God where we are failing.
Now do my husband and I have a perfect marriage now? Heck to the no. We still fight, still have struggles, still say stupid crap when we are mad (ok that’s more me, I’m learning!), but the one thing that I will say we have now, is a willingness to learn.
Being teachable is hard.
It’s allowing your spouse to correct you, it’s learning to shuteth the moutheth, it’s dying to yourself in order to gain something greater.
Being teachable is not something we have naturally; we must ask God for His help.
So, the question is are we willing to learn?
I can tell you this from my experience, if we will ask God for a teachable spirit, become a student of our spouse’s needs, we can gain new perspective, new passion and new marriages.
And that my friend is worth all the studying in the world.
Has being teachable helped you in your marriage? If so, please share.
P.S. Some of you may be asking, what if I change and become more teachable and my spouse doesn’t?
Friend- the only answer I have is this: we can’t change people or hearts. That’s God’s job. But we can do what He has called us to do, love and serve our spouse from a pure heart and leave the results to Him. Control and manipulation does not change people. (love does not demand its own way). 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT)
Love takes risk and grace and mercy aren’t easy.
And whether they will change from our labor or not, we can’t predict that. I do know when I am loved and shown mercy when I least deserve it, it humbles me. It makes me look within. It’s God’s loving kindness that brought about the changes in my life.
So my best advice is love, be teachable and leave the results to God, and I can promise this, the change and growth you see in YOU will be a beautiful thing. And that alone is worth it.
