After sweating profusely from trying on a gazillion pieces of clothing, I stared at the mountain heap which no longer fit and asked Jesus: “What in the world is going on here I thought I had conquered this?!”
Friend, our crazy trains are anything we keep doing over and over but keep expecting a different result. (Yes, that is the definition of insanity).
My train I haven’t been able to step off of is food addiction. I’ve gained weight and keep saying I’m gonna lose it, diet for a few days, then stop, then continue to eat the jelly beans and chips. (And I’ve been repeating this vicious cycle for a year and a half.)
The Apostle Paul said in Romans 7, “For I have the desire to do good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do I keep doing.”
I think Paul knew a thing or two about crazy trains. (and I’m really hoping the thing he couldn’t stop doing was overeating warm bread while dipping it in the amazing olive oil, I’m just sayin’).
Here’s the good news about driving our own selves nuts, usually, hopefully, when we can’t take it anymore we begin to ask Jesus this question:
“How do I get well?”
For each of us our crazy trains all look and sound different.
Oh yes, they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Sometimes it’s addictions to certain people, situations, or things. Or it’s unhealthy thought patterns or relationships, the point is we all have them.
There’s this story in the bible regarding the issue of wellness that recently has intrigued me and so messed with me.
It’s about this guy who has been an invalid for thirty-eight years. (John 5)
He’s lying on a mat and there before him is the pool of Bethesda which means “healing waters“. There is an angel in the pool and every time the waters are stirred and someone steps in they receive their healing.
One day Jesus comes on the scene and asks him, “Do you want to get well?”
The lame man says yes, but explains that every time he tries to get into the pool he can’t because others beat him to the pool first. So, Jesus commands him to pick up his mat and walk.
The man stands up, picks up his mat, and he is healed.
Okay, so here’s the part that has been messing with me– I’m the dude on the mat gawking at all the people jumping in the pool, (getting fit and wearing their bikinis), while I just want to keep eating chips and salsa while I brew in my jealously. And then, Jesus comes over and gets all intrusive and bossy, bends down, and looks me in the eyes and says:
“Do you want to get well?”
And then I look down and see my mat (which is my excuses and comfortable lazy-boy chair I don’t want to get out of) and I see the healing waters He has placed before me: Meal planning, Weight Watchers, (it works) and exercise. Oh yeah, and the angel (s) in the water are people in my life who are also on a fitness journey encouraging me to come along.
Friend, if you are on a crazy train, what is your mat? Is it excuses, denial, or fear?
And what are the healing waters the Lord has placed before you? Could it be a support group or bible study group you’ve been afraid to join? And what about the angels God has placed in your life who are standing in the pool waiting to help you get well?
Last week I made myself get on the scale and saw a number I shuddered to see. I then sat on the edge of my bed wondering how I had gotten back to this place I swore I’d never be in again.
And I knew I had a choice to make, actually, we all have this same choice to make when we are longing to get well.
We will either keep looking behind us or choose to look at the mat beneath us and the healing waters before us. And when Jesus comes and asks us:
“Do you want to get well?”
May we have the courage to stand up, pick up our mats and not walk, but run to the pool of healing and jump in both feet first.
***
*What is your mat? (The thing that is holding you back from wellness?)
*What is the healing waters before you? (The tools that are the pathway to your healing)
*Who are your angels God has strategically placed in your life right now to help you get well?
Feel free to answer below in the comments (or use these questions for discussion with friends or family.) Would love to hear from you and encourage you and share in this journey with you friend. 🙂
(image source: canstockphoto.com)
At this very moment I am sitting in the hospital with an IV in my arm and I have just finished a treadmill stress test. I am winded and feel I have failed miserably. I am heavier than I have ever been in my life and also promised myself I too would never be here again. I think I am my own mat holding myself back. I constantly say to myself you don’t look that big when I see myself in pictures, you know the camera adds 10 pounds or maybe it the angle of the camera, always an excuse. I know I can do better, heck I have done better , there are a million reasons I am the way I am, age, menopause, stress, stopped smoking. The bottom line is I’m lazy and it stops today!!! Thanks for being my angel today, this was just what I needed!!!💖💖💖
Dear Holly, First of all so GRATEFUL for you and your friendship. And second of all, I so get it my friend. I so get what you feel. I feel I have failed myself as well, BUT! This is where we say we are human, we dust ourselves off, and we look at the healing waters before us that are there. And we have hope! We pray and ask God for his help and we encourage each other! So love you and so proud of you for writing this and being transparent. That took courage. You are one amazing lady!!! xoxo
Thanks Holly for your blog. I can relate to so much of this. I have many mats, but the biggest one is the lost of my mom 1 1/2 ago. The feeling is so strong a lot of the times. I know she is with the Lord, and she would not want this to hold me back. She always had a weight problem. I’ve prayed over and over again. I know the right things to do, I just have to do them. This has given me a lot to think about and I want to thank you. God Bless.
Thank you so much for coming by Karen! I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. I pray the Lord gives you comfort and strength to endure. I know can get off the mat my friend! He has you. xoxo
It amazes me how God can quickly answer prayers, sometimes. I had just gotten done complaining and whining to God about my weight and health and then I see your post! I do eat a really good diet (GF, soy free, dairy free, organic produce, grass fed beef, no pop, etc) BUT those darn m&ms and chips/popcorn get me! Or the exercising. I do love to exercise, I just forget or say I’ll do it later, then later comes and I feel it may be too late at night so I promise I will do it in the morning…and the cycle continues. He even sent me a tool (Arbonne) for me to learn and grow and help others, but my weaknesses hold me back from succeeding. When I read your post, it felt like me writing it. You have given me the motivation I need to make the change I’ve wanted for so long. Having Jesus in mind, I will be stronger now. HE will be my coach. Thank you, for being that angel at the well! 😊
Sharen, Your cycle sounds exactly like mine! lol The chips and popcorn get me every time! Thank you for sharing your story, it helps me not feel so alone in this struggle! We can do this right?? We have a Savior who promises to help! 🙂 Thanks so much for coming by and reading. xoxo