Dear Boys,

I use to wish for you to be the cutest, smartest, and most popular athletes, and of course at the top of your class.

And it’s not that those things are bad, but my reasoning behind them was a tad skewed.

Because I thought if you were the best at everything that meant you’d be happy. I reasoned if you were the smartest, you’d have self-esteem.

If you were popular and liked by everyone, well, than you wouldn’t ever have to feel lonely or unloved.

Wow, was I wrong.

Because now that you are both adults—I’ve seen its been the times you’ve been at your lowest, and not at the top, that I’ve seen you shine the brightest.

When you’ve been rejected or excluded and sat in your room and cried, (and your dad and I were standing outside your door crying with you) it was right in that moment, you were beginning to develop a heart of compassion for the lonely and left out.

Those times when you both didn’t make the team?

I did not realize at the time that God was giving you a gift (because it literally about killed me) of humility. A lesson showing you sometimes it’s someone else’s time to shine and that’s a lesson we all need more than a few times in our lives.

So, now instead of hoping you are the best, I pray you just do your best at whatever you put your hand, heart, or mind to do.

I pray you are kind and give the best seat in the house to your friend or a stranger and will gladly take the floor.

I pray you will not desire to be liked by everyone, but will desire the respect of a handful of people you admire and look up to.

I pray you will see the last are first and the first are last and popularity, looks, money, and fame are all fleeting. And it’s the relationships in your life and your relationship with God which are eternal.

Being the best is overrated boys.

I know being at the bottom at times doesn’t feel good but know this:

It develops more in you than you could ever imagine and the results are immeasurable.

Please forgive me for the times I made you feel less than, not good enough, or said “You just need to work harder, study more, or practice more.”

We all know hard work is important and vital to our growth, ( so don’t misread that) but, we also know there were times I was trying to get you to prove your worth by a better test or game score.

Hear me:

You are worthy because you are simply YOU.

Wonderfully, uniquely, amazingly designed by the Grand Creator YOU. And you do not ever, ever, ever, have to try to earn my love or the love of your earthly father or Heavenly Father. Know that sometimes us parents in hopes of trying to get it right, get it wrong, and we are learning and growing right along with you.

So, I’m praying God gives you not just what you need in this life to be happy, but what you need to make you the most like Him.

Because that is not only what brings us joy, but is the most important accomplishment of all.

Being your mom is still the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

And I love you both more than you will ever know,

Love Always,

Momma

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