I kept scrolling and scrolling and staring at my phone screen for hours.

I looked at friends facebook pages and pictures, watched funny videos, then tried to write compelling words which did nothing but fall flat.

What is my deal I kept asking myself?

As I closed my laptop and laid my head on my desk the words came back to me from a couple weeks ago that Jesus spoke over me:

Remain.in.my.love. 

I realized with my head face down my diagnosis:

I’m lovesick.

Now, the outward symptoms present themselves as:

Getting mad at my husband and kids for not telling me how amazing I am, hoping facebook and instagram likes will make me feel like a rock-star, and wanting to eat non-stop of course.

And the inward symptoms are I just really miss time with my Heavenly Father and being in His presence.

I miss sitting with Him and having a conversation without expecting him to give me something inspiring for a blog post. I miss reading His precious word without placing a time limit on it and getting lost in the thrill and wonder of it.

Really…I just miss Jesus.

Now, here’s the deal, just because Jesus tells us something and we have this grand epiphany (read that post here) doesn’t mean we automatically have this thing pegged and are sitting in a bed of green pastures with our cups running over.

Nope, He knew we would be prone to wander from home.

That we would forget him for awhile and do our own thing and just nibble on His word here and there like a $2 cheeseburger hoping to be sustained.

So, I’m thinking what does it mean to “remain” and “abide” in His love?

What does that look like for you and I?

And how do we do it in such a busy, self focused, fast paced world?

Friend, I wish I could say there was a formula for this thing but there’s not. He made each of us so unique and we worship and commune with Him as differently as our personalities.

I can’t tell you what you need to do to get back to home and abiding with your Father, but I know what it looks like for me.

First, it’s realizing that every time I find myself scrolling for hours and searching, I need to realize He is what I’m searching for.

Secondly, when my fist and jaw begin to clench and I start to get that deep pain in my shoulders and neck, I need to look within and ask myself what it is I’m fearful of and grasping for.

And thirdly, I need to get away from the spotlight and performance trap and step into the shelter of The Most High and rest in His shadow.

The world is telling us that what we are looking for is to be seen with this great big light shining down upon us.

Such a lie.

What we are really longing for is to sit in our Father’s lap and lay our heads upon His chest. And as we listen closely to His heart beat we will understand this one life transforming truth:

There is a secret door in our hearts which is reserved strictly for Jesus. And no amount of human love or affirmations can come compare or reach the place which bears His name only.

It is meant for Him alone.

And we will become lovesick every time we try to ask something or someone to fill or step into that place.

Friend, are you lovesick?

Are you wanting your friends, husband, wife, boyfriend, or cute girl online, to tell you who you are?

Are you endlessly scrolling and searching for something but don’t know quite what?

“As the Father has loved me I have loved you.

Now, remain in my love.” (John 15:9)

Those four words from Jesus change everything.

Take a deep breath my friend because you are safe in the Father’s arms.

No more juggling, performing, or jumping up and down to be seen–just be.

Just be His son or daughter and remain in His love.

And, when you and I wander off and start looking for His love in all the wrong places, (and we will), we will remember what the prescription is.

It’s our refuge, resting place, and deepest desire:

Our Father’s heart.

Which is filled with everlasting love for each and every one of us.

(image source: canstockphoto.com)

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