I stumble out of bed with a raging headache and my mind immediately starts bossing me around with all the things I need to get done.
My mind darts between the mundane of what I need to set out for dinner (for the diet I’ve started twenty times already this month) to all the big things I want to accomplish which I feel I am lacking in.
Basically the question buried underneath it all is: Will I ever measure up?
As I scrub my microwave I can’t ever seem to keep clean, I ask myself, “What if life is just this endless list of demands and working and striving to prove something to ourselves and each other?”
I feel like I’m forever stuck in a pair of skinny jeans that I can’t breathe in. And my muffin top, (like my expectations of myself) are spilling over and I wish I could just get into my comfy jammies and stop worrying about proving anything.
My mind drifts back to a few weeks ago when I had a speaking engagement that I was completely spazzing over. I spent countless hours preparing to the point of exhaustion and the Heavenly Father just kept whispering to me:
“Abide in me daughter your worth is found in me alone.”
Basically what had reared its ugly head again was perfectionism. So, today when I read these words from my friend Katie’s book, Made Like Martha, these words jumped off the page:
“While doing our best is important, there is a slippery slope between excellence and perfectionism. Perfectionism sets its victim up for failure, insisting we can be like God if we work hard enough. This philosophy communicates, “What Jesus did was not enough! I must prove I am enough.”
If you are nodding after reading those words and have had those same feelings of never feeling enough I have some good news and bad news for us.
The bad news is we will never measure up, but the good news is we don’t have to.
Jesus paid our debt in full on the cross. He took all of our sin, lack, inconsistencies, feelings of worthlessness and nailed them down and said: IT IS FINISHED.
It is finished you and I thinking we have to be perfect. It is finished thinking we have to be what others want us to be.
It is finished thinking we have to prove our value by what we do or how well we perform.
It is finished thinking that tight abs, a perfect house, and a huge bank account are going to make a grand announcement to us that we have somehow arrived.
Here’s the most awesome news:
There is no place of arrival friends, but there is a wonderful place of abiding.
To abide means to remain; continue; stay. Listen to some of Jesus’ words from John 15:
“I am the vine; you are the branches.”
“If you remain in me and I in you; you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.”
“Now remain in my love.”
Remain. in. my. love.
Ponder on that for a moment.
If you and I remain in His love what in the world do we have to worry about or feel the need to prove to anyone? Just reading those five words makes me feel like I can breathe again how about you?
From now when we wake up we do not need to ask ourselves if we will measure up, instead we can ask:
“Will I choose to abide in Christ today and remain in His love?”
So… those insufferable skinny jeans of perfectionism and striving? Throw them off they never fit good anyway. Now, we may not be able to remain in our jammies all day, 😉 but we can remain in His love.
No more trying to arrive lovelies.
Go and Abide.
*So you know I had to offer a book giveaway for Made Like Martha by Katie M. Reid. This book is a GAME CHANGER for any modern day Marthas, and/or us girls that may need a reminder that our worth is found in Christ alone. To enter the contest comment below if you have ever felt the need to measure up and what that may look like for you. I will announce the winner on Thursday evening on facebook live when I attend Katie’s book launch party at Baker Books! 🙂
(Image source: canstockphoto.com)
Remain, abide, Two most precious words concerning our Lord.
Amen sister, Amen. xoxo
Oh, my yes!! It’s hard not to compare ourselves to others and to not try to live up to ridiculous expectations we set for ourselves. As women especially we are people pleasers so we think we need to do it all. I have been working hard to be okay with saying no, that I don’t have to do it all and most importantly to trust Him.
Thanks for a chance to win Holly. Loved this.
Lisa, Yes, we as women are always trying to be superwoman and we end up exhausted and burnt out!I love that you are being brave and saying no. It took me years to learn to say those words and I still have to remind myself to this day it’s okay to say it. Thanks for coming by friend! xoxo
Oh Holly, I love your “It is finished” statements. I think I sometimes procrastinate starting for dread of the burden to finish, so those words are a sweet reminder that my failure dies not determine my worth! Love Katie’s book and live your way with words, too.
Lorraine, Oh what a Savior we have! He accomplished it all for us on the cross, why do we so often forget? So glad you were encouraged friend. xoxo
Loved this sister💜
God’s word just amazes me sis! Love you and thank you for coming by and reading. xoxo
I like this topic as I believe everyone has been there…we all strive to be whatever anyone wants us to be without being who we are supposed to be…who He made us to be. Sometimes even trying to figure that part out is exhausting, but He has His way of showing us even when we’re not listening. I believe we all try to abide by his plan for us, but this Earthly world deceives is by saying you need to do this, be this, look like this and we can get caught up in it. God made me His first and foremost, then he made me an Earthly daughter. Next, I became a wife and, for now, lastly, I’ve become a mom. There, of course, are the in-betweens of being a friend, co-worker, (I don’t have siblings) etc. Ever since I met you Holly, it’s been “Be still”. I’m still here trekking it through and being still (as best as I can…Ha!). If that’s what His plan for me is right now, then so be it. I’ve come to find I like being still…it’s a lot less stressful and chaotic….a lot more of His peace. Thank you for your insights…it inspires me and really makes me think.
Jenn, tears! Your words are so very precious to our Father. He adores you so much Jenn, and loves being with His daughter. Keep pressing into who YOU Are in Him. You are beautiful inside and out! And it’s SO true, the world catches us up in a whirlwind BUT then, we eventually hear our Father calling us and we head home. So glad He’s so much better than anything else ya know? Love you my friend, thank you for coming by and reading, I so appreciate you! xoxo
I can so relate! Love how you put this all to words. I did a study on abiding a couple summers ago and it was so good! Thanks for the reminders and encouragement!
Thanks for coming by Jennifer! Glad you were encouraged! 🙂
Soooo….I bought this book 2x already for someone else… hahahaha… somehow it keeps being re-purchased for my Martha self…Why do we avoid owning this identity and even more so… our true identity. Setting limits is so freeing and allows others freedom to do the same. Thank you Jesus and ladies for keeping me from beating myself up…debt paid!
Miss Sue, Oh how I love you! Yes and Amen! xoxo
My entire life has been about measuring up. I was raised in the doctrine of sinless perfection. One sin in my life upon Jesus return, and I was told hell would be my fate. I left my family church and that doctrine about 2 years ago. I am 41 and thanks to my new heathy church and it’s members, and counsel from my pastors, I have been learning who God really is. It’s been a tough journey filled with rejection, pain and FEAR, but also filled with LOVE and new beginnings. I loved your article about the open letter to those who hurt me. Thanks for sharing.
Amie, I am so sorry you had to go through that, that must have been soooo painful. I’m so glad you are learning who Jesus really is! Just a suggestion as I was reading your post a book came to mind that I feel you will so relate to! It is written by my friend Jami Amerine, you will LOVE IT! It is called Stolen Jesus. You will laugh, cry, and be so inspired. It’s a journey about finding the REAL JESUS. It was such healing to my own heart. Thank you for coming by and thank you for your kind words on the article. That one was written from my core. lol Jesus teaches us much in the valley amen? Blessings to you sister! xoxo
Thank you for the book suggestion. I will most definitely look it up. I am at a point now where I know all of this is going to be used to bring Glory to God. I just want to be a vessel for Him.
Yes, sister! Amen! xoxo