So my husband and I are parents that adore their kids like any good loving parents. And in our attempt to shower our kids with our love, we gave them awesome gifts. Cool themed birthday parties, and cards and letters and affirmations and you know did everything we could do assure them of our love. (okay we showered them with our love and went overboard let me just keep it real).
So we thought we were being these super, awesome parents. We were being good parents—but not always wise ones.
And then as they got older and started getting use to the awesome gifts and parties and affirmations something began to shift. The thank yous were less. The appreciation was lacking. And it just seemed everything was expected and not even a big deal no matter how grand of the gestures by us.
My kids are good kids. They get good grades, they are nice to their friends, they treat their teachers with respect.
BUT, they are teenagers.
And they are human beings that like the rest of us when things are given to us in elaborate amounts, and not taught how to appreciate their value can = spoiled, entitled, children.
That then become spoiled, entitled adults who never truly learn the importance of appreciating things in life, and not taking them for granted. Or not just the things, but the people in your life that give you those nice things.
So when we as parents keep feeding that self-absorbed mentality and nature, whom is to blame if they don’t get the important lessons we want them to learn?
You know the lessons of:
it’s really not all about you.
And the things in life that are most appreciated are the things that usually weren’t given to you but worked for.
And have you thought of anyone else lately but yourself?
And oh yeah did you know that sitting around all day on video games and posting selfies and become a narcissistic, self-absorbed human being is never going to make you a person that makes a difference in the world or adds betterment to our society?
We as parents have it all backwards sometimes. We think giving more and more, and not making them suffer any pain or discomfort is going to mold them into caring, hard working individuals. When the funny thing is it’s the pain and discomfort in our lives that makes us those very things.
It’s rare to meet a truly unselfish, compassionate, caring human being that was spoiled. Or catered to.
Recently one of the teens in our lives, went out of his way to buy his grandparents gifts for Christmas with his own money. Then went to the mall and gave a homeless man in the bookstore his last $20 so he could buy himself a book he was looking at.
His mom happens to be one of my dear friends and she is amazing. And teaching her kids the importance of giving and not receiving all the time. And it so shows.
I’m glad I’ve been able to give my kids great parties. And nice Christmas gifts. But sometimes looking back in my excess of giving I’ve realized it was more about me at times in my desire to be a “great mom”.
So I’ve decided I don’t want to be just a great mom. I want to be a teaching mom and not just a mom that gave her kids great gifts—but tools for living.
I’m realizing the gifts won’t really be remembered, ( especially when there’ too many to remember!) but the lessons will.
