Years ago I went through a horrible time of testing and temptation.

It came from a place of emptiness in my soul and somehow in the middle of it, I quit trusting God and felt He wasn’t enough. He just seemed so far and distant and I quit listening to His warnings and I was on a mission to fill my void.

How in the world does a bible loving, Jesus is the Answer Christian, get to this place?

Of course looking back it’s easy to see now.  I was vulnerable and hurting, full of pride thinking I was too spiritual to fall for Satan’s tactics, clueless on spiritual warfare, and therefore a perfect target.

I remember specifically the day I wanted to succumb to my temptation and God warning me, “Don’t”.

And yet I did.

I knew in my heart He had to be done with me.

I remember standing in my bathroom one day getting ready for the day and I heard the Lord speak to my heart and tell me not to stop talking to Him despite what was going on.

I was baffled He still wanted to speak to me and wondered how in the world do you keep talking to a holy God when your flesh is doing everything it wants to gratify itself and the furthest thing from your mind is praying?

I don’t know how I kept talking to Him to be quite honest with you, but I did.

I tried to be honest and real with Him.  I was hurting, angry, all of the above.

One morning after weeks of this I was in my bedroom and I was exhausted from the turmoil going on inside of me. I was disgusted with myself and I was curled up in a ball in my bed, weeping.

I was asking for His help. I was done with myself, my sin, and Satan was tormenting me.

T.D. Jakes says something so true, “Satan will minimize your sin to get you to comply, but will maximize and shame you to death afterwards.”

As I laid there crying out to God, I felt His presence come over me. I had felt His presence before but this was different. He was angry. He was ticked is more like it.

Not with me, but my enemy.

I cannot fully explain to you how I knew this. And it sounds crazy to say that I knew He was fighting for me against my enemy and his demons.  His presence was so real, and His love and desire to protect me.

I knew that God was doing for me that day what I couldn’t do for myself. There was definitely something supernatural going on and a deliverance that came.

There is so much going on in the spiritual realm that we cannot even fathom.

I will tell you my deliverance with this sin did not come all at once. Yes I had victory that day but there were still days ahead I had to fight. And there were consequences from my sin that I had to atone for.

God was with me but I still had to learn to use my weapons He had placed in my hands and put on the full armor He equipped me with.  (Ephesians 6)

Friend, if you happen to be in a season of temptation or testing and you feel powerless over your sin, can I advise you to please not stop talking to Him?

Don’t run away; don’t let the enemy convince you that you have to be put back together and perfect before you can talk to Him. That is a lie.

Jesus Christ came to rescue us; He came to save us from ourselves because He knew we couldn’t do it on our own.

A few months ago I found a passage in Psalm 18 and my eyes and heart could not believe what I was reading.

It is one of the most beautiful scriptures I have ever read about God leaving His throne to come down and fight for us.

It says in 7-10

The earth trembled and quaked,

And the foundations of the mountains shook;

They trembled because he was angry.

Smoke rose from his nostrils;

Consuming fire came from His mouth,

Burning coals blazed out of it.

He parted the heavens and came down;

Dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew;

He soared on the wings of the wind.

Verse 16,

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

He drew me out of deep waters.

Are you in need of being taken hold of and being drawn out of deep waters?

Cry out to Him.

Keep praying. Keep asking for help. That’s your part in your deliverance. Sometimes deliverance comes in one prayer, sometimes a thousand.

Sometimes it happens at an altar, a friend’s living room, or a place you’d never imagine God to be, but it’s usually after a series of steps and with a willing, humble heart.

Do what He tells you—go where He tells you.

Get into that counseling you’ve been considering, go to that 12 step meeting, confess your sin to a trusted brother or sister in Christ, go to your pastor for prayer, read that book sitting on the shelf.

We have to do our part in finding freedom. And I can promise you one thing—through it all you have a God fighting with you and for you.

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